Dear All,
Today like many a world leader and homemaker before me I began a war knowing in advance it could not be won.
Here is a quick look at the enemy and their movements.
· Ants (approximately 7) were first detected partying in my fruit salad. Several are considered presumed to have been consumed the rest of the unit drowned with slightly more dignity.
· An ant, perhaps struggling to maintain his good looks was discovered in the darkest corner of my closed shaving kit. He looked great and was forgiven.
· Two were observed trolling the laptop likely using the WWW. Both were terminated, for in all probability surfing where they shouldn’t.
· The enemy and I share a similar penchant for mature breakfast cereals. Well over fifty found utopia and shortly after, their ultimate demise in a poorly secured box of un opened and self imported combs of honey. Tragic loss on all fronts.
· Finally, several ants were found in my pants, I suspect pretending to be me. Regrettably, there can be only one.
Weapons of mass destruction are affordable, readily available and come in generous 750ml salvos. My preliminary assault on their communication lines was effective but like the Sand People on “Tatoine”, they only return more determined and in greater numbers.
With the support of the good people at “Raid” I have established a “no crawl zone” around the couch and most other perishables are now sheltered in the ice box. It’s our new reality; you simply can’t negotiate with ants.
Stomping,
Mw
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